Il fantasma di Fellini

(Fellini’s ghost; excerpt from The Associated Shades)

FADE IN

INT. BLACK AND WHITE FILM. MINDSEYE (A STAGE), THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
LS – UNDERLIT FOG MOVES RIVERINE ACROSS THE SCENE; STAGE STARLIGHT GLITTERS ABOVE

V.O. [Petronius]: You’re somniferous, counting elephants, giraffes and polygons walking on a fractal sky, when you’re startled by a presence…

LS – A TRANSMIGRANT MATERIALIZES, WEARING CHARCOAL SUIT, CAPE, FEDORA, USING A CANE, APPEARING FAR DISTANT, MOVING TOWARD CAMERA; FOG SLOWLY DRIFTS AND LIFTS.

V.O.: It’s the Auteur Himself. He viambulates our way….

CU – HIS FACE: FELLINI LOOKING DIRECTLY AT CAMERA.

Fellini: Ciao, Petronio! Is that you? Tell me a story. I lived too long ago; I’ll be ancient history soon, like you. We can’t remember yesterday.
BEAT  Where’s my gray?

CUTAWAY – GRAY PARROT FLIES IN AND LANDS ON PERCH THAT NOW STANDS BESIDE FELLINI.

Parrot [parroting]: Change and change and change; and all our yes- yes- yesterdays. A fool taught me that: I memorized all five words. Genius! And troubadours get laid and also – but only sometimes – die young. I made that up. Mark it: It sounds true.

Fellini: Basta con gli inglesi! They called us Macaroni. Are you illiterate?

Parrot: Me, JC and Socrates. I know another; it involves a calvarium and some philosophy. Or young innamorati.

Fellini: Teenage fornication in an ossuary! I can work with that! And a casino on the water, and metal chariots with jungle rubber, designer shades, what have you. Gotta have trappings, and vagina dentata. Do they still have skele­tons with tits in Paris? How about a necklace made of skulls, or skull tattoos? Bet they’ve never seen those before.

Parrot: Boss, they’ve seen it all. However, yes, teats – or rather, breasts, and a jester. Politicians and pundits, too, if you like – fully erect. They can wear panties and dog collars, and pay.

Fellini: Everybody pays. In ketchup blood. And then everyone to the beach. Sempre un lieto fine.

ECU – FELLINI’S FACE, HIS HAND ASIDE.

Fellini [whispering]: Petronio, do you want to hear about my idea for a new film?

MS – BED WITH DIAPHANOUS NETTING, INERT SLEEPER.

V.O.: Federico, this is strange. We’re both dead; you’re a phantasm; and I’m dreaming.

Fellini: What a coincidence! It will be a documentary on dreamers, but relax – everyone with think it’s fantastic since I, dead, direct.
BEAT  You’re asleep? Eccellente! Ponder these:

CUTAWAY TO MS – ORACLE, RISING FROM EMERGING FOG; CAMERA PANS IN.

Oracle (singing, to the tune of “Why Do Fools Fall in Love?”): Why do stars have Persian names? Do amphibians somnambulate? Êtes-vous heureux?

CUTAWAY TO CU – PARROT ON PERCH.

Parrot (whistling same tune): What are the implications of the finity of human knowledge? And speciosuicidal embedded traits? And tribal abdication? [Continuing, to no one in particular] I can go on indefinitely, but I’d rather warble about hedonism.

CUTAWAY TO LS – ORACLE, RISING FROM EMERGING FOG.

Oracle: Bye-the-bye, I’d nearly forgotten to ask: Was it the best butter? Was he a harmless pedophile? Life, what is it?

CUTAWAY TO MS – FELLINI.

Fellini [to Oracle]: I know, Misero de mi. [To Petronius] Petronio, old chum, let them have their duetto. I’ll cast for exhibitionists and asterisks – er, asterisms. The screen will scintillate at a theater near you.

CUTAWAY TO MS – PARROT.

Parrot: Sorry, boss, but they don’t do that any more. They’re merging with appliances. Archæologists will call them Homines artificiales, and they’ll speak Igpay Atinlay, in binary, no less.

Fellini (to Oracle): E vero? Ermafroditi?

CUTAWAY TO MS – ORACLE.

Oracle: ’Fraid so. Don’t you remember when you seduced my granddaughter with rationalism? It was off to oblivion for the masses. Today she’s a chatbot in Vegas [ed.: Lethe] and it’s all your fault.

CUTAWAY TO MS – PARROT.

Parrot: La même chose, la même chose. Ti sei dimenticato.

Fellini: Still, there’s got to be hope:

“Comes the final era of the Sibyl’s song;
the great order of the ages born afresh.”

I heard that from a bartender. I was historical, and she was dreaming. Dobbiamo sempre sogno?

CUTAWAY TO LS – FELLINI, WALKING AWAY FROM CAMERA, OPENING THE DOOR OF A DARK SEDAN. FOG COMES UP; CAR DRIVES OFF. SPX CAR DEMATERIALIZES.

V.O.: So he vanished, Fellini, in Fiat and fedora. Buona notte, sognatore.

FADE OUT

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